Muggle Class Introduction
by Kino Ametsuchi
Summary: Ash writes a brief overview of her history and credentials in a writing assignment on her first (and only) day at a muggle school and is hired by an unexpected source. Side-fic to the massively AU and SI centered story "Ashes to Ashes. School and Saturday morning is non-canon while poem is tentatively canon. Possible triggers: death, bombs, torture, mild incest (very mild)


**Author's Note: To those about to read this I offer fair warning that this is a side-fic to the massively AU and SI centered story "Ashes to Ashes" and as such is currently considered Non-Canon in regards to the school thing. The poem is unfortunately a look into Ashleann's past so would this be semi-canon?**

 _Summary: Ash writes a brief overview of her history and credentials in a writing assignment on her first (and only) day at a muggle school and is hired by an unexpected source. Side-fic to the massively AU and SI centered story "Ashes to Ashes_

Long, long ago in a world on the edge of the dark abyss,

There was a troubled cry in a hidden tree that gave birth to a little mister and a little miss.

The young master was fair and lovely of face and his younger sister was even more lovely but in the ways that dark things were which made those who helped deliver the babes whisper,

"She looks around with such intense and understanding eyes and never cried out! Why, the girl must be a changeling child! Let us hope the boy is not like his sister!"

And so it was and so it shall be,

For the twins who seemed inseparable to all who could see

We're doomed to be torn asunder

From the bad information about the quests blunder.

The Changeling Child shed her mortal coil

And made sure the world would blister and boil

Before she died, if such a monster like she could die

If so, it would be in battle or protecting her few loved ones where she would say goodbye.

The girl was named after the ancient Ash trees

Whose roots bathed in a pool of life blood made from the bodies of spirits set free

The boy bore a name meaning one who was a white hawk

A fitting name for the amiable sinner whose beauty in passing made many gawk

Their surname was cursed it is said

For death, their closest ally and friend

Would take all of the younger sibling's loved ones without granting her a end.

From a very young age both were prodigies and gifted beyond measure

Each treated like a irreplaceable treasure

The younger surpassed the older in all she tried and her intelligence grew in leaps and bounds

But what found amongst the people on the ground

Was the subtle fear from her extended family and patrons her presence invoked

Which was helpful for fighting monsters and fiends since she could provoke

Without reprimand or care for damage

But humans...humans were so hard to manage!

The boy was the opposite in every way

He couldn't shoot a bow as well nor use martial arts like his could so easily each day

He couldn't track, nor hunt, or even trap

And don't even get him started on using maps!

The one thing he was better at was the one thing she despised

Dealing with weaklings and those who foolishly say lies

His sister both loved and hated the human race

And he alone was told this after she returned from her rare trips on finding prey to chase

The girl of ashes made many inventions

And improved weapons, armor and tools beyond their original convention

She made things that exploded and things that killed hundreds with a single whiff of air

She did such things without a worry or a care

"Humans are foolish Beasts," she said one evening in their tenth year

As the two children watched an entire country fall, the sounds of cheers

Made all words pointless as the people devolved into what she always thought of them, "worthless pests

Who should die out leaving only the best."

The bird boy was just as stained as she

For behind his peaceful words and actions was a grin filled with glee

Once brilliant white plumage was now dyed a crimson hue

His sky colored eyes changed to a stormy blue

And nothing was ever quite the same

Especially when his sister wanted to try a new game.

Twins they might be

But as one could see

They were as different as the night and day

And no matter what one might say

The hawk preferred the trees appearance even if it had the faintest of resemblance to the one who gave birth

The parents were off ruling their territories all around the world so as the elder he had to be full of mirth

Only with her could he let his mask of affection and cheerfulness fall

For she had always seen and experienced all

Everything was fine and there was nothing to hide

Until the brother returned from a long quest to his sister's side

As usual he entered her chambers with little sound

And what his gaze sought out unknowingly and found

The sight of her completely bare aside from a blanket which was mended to the point it was covered with holes

He knew it immediately from the deepest reaches of his blackened soul

That nothing could change the unfamiliar yet familiar emotions within

His once pure love now corrupted by the sin

Of loving his other half, his little sister

And so he said in a whisper,

"Forgive me for my selfish wish,

But I don't want you too think things are amiss

I will surely burn for this

Parting of the two I must insist,"

The hawk hesitated for one more moment before taking flight

With all his love and adoration he gave her a sign of affection so soft and sweet

That even as she opened her eyes to see his fading wings in the sky of twilight

She touched her lips and marvelled at how the world seemed more bleak

Beloved brother left on a urgent request from the headquarters of the world tree

Promising to return healthy and hale with gifts of three

Alas, the truth bittersweet

For returned he did, but with those who fell

Where love sweet or impure could no longer dwell

The rites were read

The bodies taken care of in each soldiers desired way

And long after all others left the grounds

A figure dressed in funeral colors of the ancient Celts

Watched as the pyre burned away

Uncaring of the ashes of her brother and many others stained her appearance.

From the ashes she arose

The world's most beautiful monster

A demon who took on any job or task and offered several ways to pay her price

Death Incarnate who was both cruel and nice

Money was an obvious choice as was some types of food

But if you didn't have any then material items or very personal effects would be good

Favors at a later date was another

Most of the time it was random since she loved to confuse others

Her parents noticed her change filled with fear

And so they arraigned their teen to go to school for the first time in all her years

That is where she met her partner

But that is a completely different matter.

"Now wasn't that just lovely class?" Mrs. Smith said with a strained smile. "Does anyone have any questions or comments about Ash's fantasy poem?"

Ash frowned at the teacher but wisely kept quiet for a change.

The unmistakable fat form of Dudley Dursley raised his pudgy hand up, "Your brother kissed you?!"

Ash shrugged before replying with a careful blankness, "At least my family doesn't mate with animals like your horse of a mother and walrus of a father, you fugly porkchop."

(While that shut him and a lot of other students, she did get half heartedly scolded by one of her guardians upon returning home after 'school'. The lone female guardian found it funny as hell.)

After school ended, Ash was starting to leave when her name was called out. She turned and saw a oddly determined Harry freaking Potter standing before her.

"That poem wasn't a lie. All that happened to you for real," Harry stated with confidence. "Do you still accept jobs?"

Ash nodded, not seeing where he was headed but liking it anyway.

The next day, the family three living at number four, Privet Drive were found murdered on their porch. They were all stabbed to death repeatedly and in a frenzy. Signs of break-in and theft give evidence to it being a robbery gone wrong.

Or so the local muggle newspaper insisted was what happened. There was no magic cast so whatever barriers were put up were not affected by the crime. No signs of a severely underfed and abused in more than physical ways boy of five years of age were left anywhere in that town.

The boy-who-escaped-hell was simply watching Saturday morning cartoons with no idea or concern on what he did.

 _Children are truly terrifying beings,_ Ash thought to herself before the thought of, _how the hell can I explain this to Tom without him going nuts...again,_ entered her mind.

"I am so screwed."

Izumi looked up from the Daily Prophet's crossword section at the comment before following Ash's line of sight to the obviously content Harry. She rubbed her temple then returned to her crossword with renewed vigor, fully intent on ignoring her friend entirely.

"Thanks Izu. I feel the love."

Ash caught sight of a very sleepy Dark Lord stumbling his way into the living room. In his arms was a box of cinnamon crunch, an almost empty gallon of milk, and silverware which he hustled about at the end table next to his favorite lounge chair.

 _Speak of the devil and he shall appear!_

"Morning Tom! Did you see our latest addition to our family of rejects?"

Tom blinked once at the boy who in another life (and world) would have been his bitter rival and killer and dismissed him. At this point, Tom had recovered enough of his old memories and knew from stories and first person that messing with anything of Ash's was stupid.

"Picking up strays again Ash?" Tom rhetorically inquired as he poured his cereal and milk and then began to eat.

"Of course! One has to get tons of allies and neutral party resources if they want to,"

"Restart the World Tree Organization here?" Izumi said from behind the paper.

Tom snorted. "How about having friends other than us first?"

"Become the Supreme Ruler of the Universes!?" Harry suggested with a serious glimmer in his eyes.

Ash clapped her hands together once. "All great ideas. Especially Harry's idea! All were wrong though I will use the others!" She paused for dramatic effect. "I need to help people when they are at the lowest, gain their loyalty and then bring them into my inner circle and/or normal and reverse harem."

A loud groan from Izumi shattered any awkwardness the reveal of one of Ash's true goals caused.

"I knew it was something like that."

Tom frowned in thought. "Does that mean you have no preference in gender?"

Ash sighed. "Pretty much. My tastes or preferred styles and personalities do shift and more less I am attracted to males over females but if I like something or someone it doesn't matter to me."

But what took the comment of the day was the completely innocent question of, "What's a harem?"

The three 'adults in children's bodies' turned to the wide eyed Harry Potter in shock.

Izumi let out a long whistle. "Son of a female werewolf! Ash found something rarer then unicorns."

Even Tom felt off at the question. "She's going to corrupt his mind."

Izumi nodded. "Yup. Her Record time from a mostly pure and restrict Catholic upbringing to full on gambler and escort is five days."

Not for the first time, Tom seriously regretted getting on board this crazy train.

Ash petted Harry's head fondly. "That is a tough question so I'll explain what it means to be in mine. Being part of my circles of friends or closer means I listen to you, love you, help you grow stronger in general and as a person, and would do all I could to make you know that you are truly special to me. Some might say harems are bad, and some are, but overall I want to ensure my few loved ones are happy even if that means I have to let them go."

Harry nodded his head in understanding.

Izumi was used to this kind of stunt.

And Tom was just lost and confused. "Why the hell did you save me for? Really!"


End file.
